|
5 - Karaoke - the third |
|
|
| B |
So, the part about the needle in
the eye was correct. |
| Y |
Actually, -only- that part was
correct. |
| [00.10] |
*knocking and door opening* |
| H |
Your honey toast. |
| B |
Whohoo! Over here! |
| Y |
When did you order honey-toast? |
| B |
Sorry... The first part of your
story was not very romantic so I got a little bored... Don't worry, you won't
have to pay for this. |
| R |
Here, eat. |
| Y |
*mumble through mouthfull* |
| R |
Good? |
| B |
Uhuh, Ki Oni is quite fond of
sweet things. |
| R |
But it stings that in the end
the lady was taken away by Issun Boushi. |
| B |
If I remember correctly, Ki Oni
didn't set foot in society till about 1870... |
| Y |
Yeah, but... It's for the best she
married Issun Boushi and not me. He is a hard worker and quite wise to the
ways of the world. And I am sure that the young lady wouldn't marry him if
she didn't already have a good impression of him, only because he protected
her form an oni. They both liked eachother already, I'm sure of it. |
| R |
If you say so... |
| Y |
Yup. Also, it seems he had a
stouted growth. Apparently he grew quite a lot after marriage. |
| R |
Can your joints still grow after
thirty? |
| Y |
It's not really like that. It's
just a miracle of nature. |
| H |
Then I'd want to grow some more
as well. About two centimeters extra. Only two would be nice. |
| Y |
Excuse me but... |
| R |
What are you doing, blending
into the conversation so naturally. |
| H |
Oh, excuse me. Please pay me no
heed. |
| [01.30] |
*door opening and closing* |
| B |
In any case, why did you finally
enter society, after being a hermit for so long? |
| Y |
Well, after the country opened
to foreign trade again, foreigners entered the country. Those guys were tall
and both hair and eye color differed, so I didn't stand out that much
anymore. |
| B |
We haven't gotten the stink-eye
anymore after that. |
| R |
The world has become a good
place to live in. |
| Y |
In the past, if you didn't have
some drastic situation where you ended up saving someone, it was quite hard
to get along with humans, wasn't it? |
| B |
I had it hard as well. |
| R |
As far as I remember, you've
always been able to interact with humans fairly well... |
| B |
It hasn't always been so. It was
quite a bother, really... |
| Y |
First time hearing that. Tell us
your story, then. |
| B |
Hmm, when was it again... |
|
|
|
6 - Ao Oni's story |
|
|
| X |
*sigh* |
| B |
Just when I was wondering where
you've gone off to... What are you doing here? |
| X |
What is it, Ao Oni? |
| B |
What's the matter? It's more fun
to drink together. Come on, enjoy yourself a bit more! |
| X |
Ah, I just am not that good with
parties like these. It's just that for such a long time it was only you and
me in the village, so what should I say... "Shy of other oni". |
| B |
You don't have to use
"oni", you know. "Shy of other people" is just fine... |
| X |
I'm sorry for being like this,
even after you invited me over. |
| B |
That's okay. |
| X |
You're such a nice guy, you.
You're quite sociable and know how to treat oni right. |
| B |
It's okay to say
"people". |
| X |
How can I even make friends. |
| B |
Don't fret about that. If you
drink together, you'll grow closer in no time. |
| X |
But, you know, if I have to grow
closer, then I'd like to grow closer to humans, rather than oni. |
| B |
With humans? For real? |
| [01.09] |
*sudden cheers* |
| X |
What's going on? |
| B |
Oh, that is probably the old
man. |
| X |
Old man? |
| B |
Just now, we were talking about
him, as he was here yesterday as well. It seems a man with a huge bump on his
cheek had wandered in and apparently he was a great dancer. |
| X |
Is that so? It's quite rare for
a human to come all the way here. |
| B |
They took his bump so he would
come again today, so maybe he came back to get it? Say, let's go watch them.
It's quite some timing, with you being interested in humans and all. |
| X |
Ah, yeah, let's go. |
| [01.48] |
*clapping and dancing noise -
slowly turning into sounds of surprise and disgust* |
| B |
Huh? |
| X |
He's not that good at dancing,
is he? You can even say he is horrible. |
| B |
How strange... It's different from
what I heard... And he still has a bump, even though the others took his
yesterday... Hmm.. Right? Left? Which side was it again? |
| X |
This is just bad, really bad.
Let's go, Ao Oni. |
| B |
Yeah... Let's. |
| [02.30] |
*footsteps* |
| B |
What a shame, really. Humans
won't come closer because they fear us, so it was quite a rare sight to see
that old man come to our banquet.... |
| X |
It happens. Besides, I prefer
children over old farts like him. |
| B |
Children? |
| X |
Yes! Human children! They're
extremely cute, you know! From time to time I visit the village to watch the
children play from the shadows. |
| B |
You sound like one of those
suspicious people who'll lurk in public places. In a thousand years, you'd
get reported for that. |
| X |
No, you're misunderstanding!
It's just that I like children. I. LOVE. CHILDREN! |
| [03.12] |
*echo* |
| [03.14] |
*dog howling* |
| B |
Okay, when dawn breaks, I'll
report you to the officials. |
| X |
No! No, not like that, not in a
weird way. I just want to go kite flying or play with the spinning tops with
them. I... I really cannot stand the stories I heard yesterday. If you're
'playing', then I'd like it to be closer. |
| B |
I didn't know you liked those
childish types of playing around... |
| X |
Well, you won't play with me!
When we're playing hide-n-seek, you'd go home alone and everything. |
| B |
It isn't anything adults should
be doing in the first place! On top of that, it's not even that much fun when
you're only with two. |
| X |
But to leave me sitting there
for three days is too much! |
| B |
You should've realized when the
sun went down... |
| X |
ANYWAY! It's more fun when
you're with a huge group. If the human children would become my friends,
every day would be so much fun! |
| B |
Frankly, I thought there was
quite a mental age gap between the two of us, so I can sort of understand
that things would be more fun for you if there were people of the same
thinking capacity as you to do things with. |
| X |
That is quite the way to phrase
it, but... You seem to understand. |
| B |
Oh well, I'll help you with
this, so you can get along with the human children. |
| X |
Really? |
| B |
That way I'll also be more free...
Ehm, I mean I'll be able to help me best friend! |
| X |
Thank you so much! You're really
awesome! |
| B |
There is no need to keep saying
those truthful things. Okay, so we should probably start this contact with an
impactful meeting. |
| X |
Impactful, hmm... Like what? |
| B |
Hmm, let's see. Quite common is
running around with toast in your mouth, then tripping and falling over in a
way so you show your underwear. Then you try to cover yourself with a skirt
while yelling 'what are you looking at, pervert!' After that, a transfer student
will enter the classroom and you'll point and say 'Oh, you were that guy from
this morning!'. That would be the perfect scenario. |
| X |
Uhmmnn.... |
| B |
Is there something you're having
trouble grasping? |
| X |
Hmm, from start to finish,
really. What is TOO-SU-TO anyway? |
| B |
Something made from wheat flour
and then toasted. |
| X |
I don't think you can get your
hands on something like that here... |
| B |
WHAT?! Then this plan is out the
window. Without the toast it will not work. |
| X |
I don't think it was that
important an aspect, but if you say so, it probably is. |
| B |
If we cannot use this plan then...
Hmm, then... It's a bit underhanded but... An insider, perhaps? |
| X |
Insider? |
| B |
Well... A fraud, if you will. |
| X |
What now 'a bit underhanded'.
That's criminal! |
| B |
Don't think too much about it,
keep things simple. I'll dress up as a woman and go have a secret (lover's)
meeting with those kids. That is when you jump out of the bushes and yell
'don't you dare dome near my woman!' or something, so you can pick a fight
with them! |
| X |
From the get-go that is just
plain wrong! The village children will not have a lover's meeting with you as
a cross-dresser! |
| B |
Why not? |
| X |
How self-confident are you?! |
| B |
I agree that I may be a bit too
old for them, but... |
| X |
That's not the point! I'll
repeat myself here: It is not THAT that's the problem. I don't want something
hasty like that, but something more... I don't know. Something to deepen the
bond a bit? |
| B |
In that case, we should start by
taking away misunderstandings? |
| X |
Misunderstanding? |
| B |
People think oni eat humans, so
that's why oni are feared. If you do not do away with that misconcept, you'll
never be able to move closer to the humans. |
| X |
Now that you mention it... We
don't eat humans, do we? Actually, rice is really tasty... |
| B |
So we'll have to make them
understand you're a lovable natural airhead. |
| X |
Who are you calling an airhead? |
| B |
As for the plan... |
| X |
You're ignoring me? |
| B |
I'll pretend to attack the
village children and you come save them. Having saved them from the evil oni,
you'll be a hero. I'm sure the villagers will be very grateful to you and
will take you in. Maybe you'll even be able to live with them! |
| X |
But if we do that, you'll be
feared by everyone from the village! You cannot come near the village and
we'll never meet again! |
| B |
Don't worry about me. As long as
you can be happy, it's fine. |
| X |
Ao Oni, you are so... |
| B |
Don't cry just yet. If this plan
works or fails also depends on how well you act your part. |
| X |
Aaah, yeah! Thank you! Thank you
so much, Ao Oni. |
| [07.37] |
*break to the present* |
| R |
Ao oni, I never knew you were
such a great guy. |
| Y |
To sacrifice yourself for your
friend's happiness. That's quite something. |
| R |
You've moved me so much, please
allow me to hold you. |
| B |
I'll pass. Besides, it's not
like that. |
| Y |
What do you mean? |
| B |
Truthfully... For quite some time
now I thought he was really annoying, so I figured this would be the perfect
chance to hand him over to the villagers, get my own freedom and head out
into the world. |
| Y |
You really are... exactly as I
thought you were... |
| R |
But wait a minute... You never
traveled the world, did you? Though we've met on a few occasions, but overall
you've been living on the same mountain... |
| Y |
Oh, right. So what happened to
the plan, then? |
| B |
Weeeelllllll... |
| [08.23] |
*clapping back into the story* |
| B |
Are there any bad children
here?! |
| Child 1 |
Wah, what's with this oni, just
barging his way into the village. What do ya want?! |
| Child 2 |
Yeah, whacha doing here? |
| Child 1 |
Don't think too lightly of us
humans! |
| Child 2 |
Don't think we are weak just
because we are kids! We've been raising tigers and bears here. |
| B |
Huh? |
| Child 1 |
Don't get all high and mighty
just because you're a little taller than us. |
| Child 2 |
I'll make it so you can never
walk again! |
| B |
Yo, wa-- |
| Child 1 |
Hora!! |
| B |
Ouch, sto-- |
|
*fighting* |
| Child 2 |
Take this! |
| B |
What's with these guys? Ouch,
I'm telling you, it hurts! |
| X |
Stop it, please just stop it! He
is my best friend. Please just stop! |
| B |
You... Now everything is for
naught... |
| X |
This is not the time for that.
The plan is already way out of the door. |
| Child 2 |
Plan? |
| Child 1 |
Ugh, this is the guy who's
always sneakingly spying on the village! |
| Child 2 |
He is! It's the guy who is
grinning creepily while spying on the children on the time! |
| Child 1 |
It's the pervert! |
| Child 2 |
The pervert came! |
| X |
No, I'm just... |
| Child 1 |
What were you planning?! Spill
it out. Depending on your answer, we won't go easy on you. |
| Child 2 |
Our parents came as well. Messing with strongest monster-parents is not a good idea. It's best for you if you spill the beans quickly. |
| B + X |
*fearful scream* |
|
|
|
7 - Karaoke - the last |
|
|
| B |
After that, we got taken to a
PTA meeting. There we explained everything and managed to convince them we
meant no harm. But after that the two of us were called out to harvest the
crops, to get water, to get some juice or whenever something needed to be done. |
| R |
You were being worked to the
bone... |
| B |
Well, he was still happy with
it, even when we weren't getting paid. In a way, we did manage to get closer
to the villagers and he didn't have to part ways with me. |
| Y |
So all's well end's well? |
| B |
And it was actually quite fun to
be spending time with humans. As the circumstances were, they weren't that
bad, really. |
| R |
I see. Do you still meet those
people? |
| B |
The villagers we met back then
died soon after, but we kept in contact with their descendants till about the
First Sino-Japanese war in the 1890s. Things started changing when the
military police started roaming the town, so we went back to our mountain to
hide and that was the end of it. |
| R |
That's a bit of a shame to hear... |
| Y |
Sorry to break of the flow of
the story, but I was just thinking... |
| R |
What? |
| Y |
Being pummeled by children... How
weak are you anyway? |
| B |
Erm... Well... |
| Y |
Momotarou was godlike, but these
village children were just normal humans, weren't they? |
| B |
But they were raising bears and
such! So they are about Kintarou's level... |
| Y |
But they were still normal
humans. |
| R |
Hmmm... |
| B |
What about you then, Ki Oni?
Just by having a needle pointed at you, you ran away without a fight! What's
that then? How pathetic was that? |
| Y |
I have a fear of needles. This
had nothing to do with strength. |
| B |
So you're saying you are strong,
then? |
| R |
Aa... |
| Y |
I don't know because I never
fought! |
| R |
AAAAaaa! |
| Y |
What? |
| B |
What's the matter? |
| R |
I just realized something. |
| B |
You did? |
| R |
Could it be that oni are... That
oni are... |
| Y |
Spit it out. |
| R |
Incredibly weak. |
| B |
Eh? |
| R |
Extremely weak. Don't you think
so? |
| Y |
No w--- Well, it is true I've
never fought a decent battle. |
| B |
Same here. I'm not sure if I
should call that one time a fight, but afterwards I haven't fought even once.
But you, Aka Oni, you may have lost to Momotarou, but you defeated those
pirates and got their treasures, right? You won from those pirates! |
| R |
That was... Exactly like Momotaou
had said, the moment they realized an oni was attacking them, they jumped
over the railing and swam away. |
| Y |
So, you didn't fight them? |
| R |
You know how people back in the
days were about 150 centimeters tall, right? So when I only swung my arms a
little, they fled in fear, and I just felt strong, but... If I really am? |
| [02.50] |
*sounds of realization sinking
in* |
| Y |
Maybe we really are weak. |
| B |
We're being done in easily in
Momoque as well. |
| R |
Games have nothing to do with
this. Don't mix game and reality! |
| B |
You're saying that?! |
| [03.06] |
*door opens* |
| H |
Bringing your order Honey
toast, Momoque special version, only available here in Akihabara branch. |
| R |
Who was it? Ordering another
Honey toast... Isn't that ordering too much? |
| H |
I created the partnering dog
with ice cream. The ears are chocolate flavor. |
| Y |
The doggy is so cute! |
| R |
So it was you! Make sure you
don't get diabetic. |
| B |
Oh, excuse me! |
| H |
Yes, what can I do for you? |
| B |
Arm wrestle me. |
| R |
You... |
| Y |
Are you... |
| H |
I'm very sorry, I'm currently
working so I am not allowed to join you in your activities... |
| B |
No, no, this won't take long.
Just one go, is that okay? |
| H |
Understood. If it's only one
match. |
| B |
Okay, then with the right hand.
Okay. |
| H |
One, two... |
| [03.50] |
*sound of hitting table and
breaking bones* |
| B |
Ugh. It hurts!!! My arm broke... |
| Y + R |
EEEEHH?! |
| H |
Oh my dear customer, don't
exaggerate. |
| B |
Aaaah, it hurts so much... |
| H |
Could this be that common money
scam technique where you place a claim for doctor costs?! |
| Y |
No! It isn't anything like that.
He's merely joking. |
| R |
Y..Yeah, he's merely joking. Hey
you, you're fine, right? |
| B |
Y-es. I...t does... not hurt. |
| H |
Aaah, don't startle me like
that. That was just mean. I thought you were going to try and get money out
of me. |
| R |
There's no way we'd do that. A..
Ha... Ahaha... |
| H |
Then it's fine. Ehm, this is the
last chance to order, so if there is anything you'd like. Or would you prefer
an extension to your time. |
| Y |
Ah, no thank you. We're leaving
after I have finished this. |
| R |
You still intend to eat it... |
| H |
Then please bring the electronic
tap with you to the reception downstairs when you're leaving. Please enjoy the
remainder of your stay! |
| [04.49] |
*sound of door opening and
closing* |
| B |
I'm not joking, it really broke... |
| Y |
So we're weaker than humans
after all... |
| B |
I don't want to believe it... But
there really is no other way to think of it... |
| R |
Hmpf... Ha ha... Hahahaha... |
| Y |
What are you laughing about? |
| B |
He's having a mental breakdown. |
| R |
Ao Oni may have been done in,
but he was the weakest of us oni. |
| B |
There are only three of us,
though. |
| R |
To be done in by a human, the
pride of the oni has taken a blow. |
| B |
Now he said it... |
| Y |
Should we call that guy from
just a moment ago and have him arm wrestle Aka Oni? |
| R |
No need. I am absolutely not
going to fight a human! Not now, not ever. Why, you ask? If I do not fight,
the strong me and the weak me will both exist in this world at the same time!
The strong me will exist!! |
| Y |
Are you like Schrödinger's cat?! |
| B |
You're just fleeing from
reality! |
| Y |
Aka Oni, you're merely deceiving
yourself! |
| R |
Ki Oni, can you handle stooping
even lower than you already have? If we are so much weaker, then our
redeeming features are only our looks! |
| Y |
Guh... |
| R |
I want to keep the image of
myself as feared by the humans. |
| B |
That's underhanded! So you're
saying there is nothing left for me? That I'm useless?! You should fight as
well! |
| R |
Huh? I can't hear you! |
| Y |
Are we that pitiable? |
| R |
Okay, we're going! Or I'm not
going to make the boat home anymore! |
| B |
You said you would stay the
night here in Tokyo! |
| R |
Ki Oni, when does your last
bullet train go? |
| Y |
Oh, I'm traveling by bus, so
the last one is around 2300. |
| R |
How young do you think you are?!
Oh well, it's fine. Let's go. |
| B |
Just wait a minute, you two!
Just now, that employee was Momotarou! That way, it makes sense I lost and I
didn't lose from a human, so the strong me still exists! |
| R |
Huh, Monotarou? I would have
recognized him, don't you think? |
| B |
No, I am sure he was Momotarou!
I'm fine. A bit of anemic, but still stronger than humans! |
| R |
Fine, fine. I get it. Nobody
forgot anything? You all have your cell phone? |
| Y |
But I still have that Honey
Toast! |
| B |
It really was Momotarou! |
| R |
No it wasn't, idiot! |
| B |
Don't call me an idiot |
| Y |
My Honey Toast! |
| R |
Idiot! |
| B |
Don't call me an idiot |
| Y |
My Honey Toast... |
| B |
It really was Momotarou! |
|
|
|
8 - Karaoke Staffroom |
|
|
| H |
G'day, thanks for your hard
work. Ah, you are on break too? Today really is busy, no? I started from the
afternoon and can now finally take a break. Aaah. Oh, can I sit here? Gajing.
Ah, the Momoque Enjoy pack is a great success, isn't it? The guests are really
lively and coming in drones. There really are too many rooms where no one is
even singing as everyone is only gaming. Those guys on the second floor too.
Ah, you've seen them? Second floor, the room in the back. I think they left
already. Three REALLY good looking guys been playing the game the entire
time. Ah, well, two were playing and one was talking about something? Anyway,
all were incredibly tall and from their hair colour you'd take them to be
foreigners. You know, the type that's just different from the rest? One was
completely blond Looked like a prince or something. But he spoke fluent
Japanese, hehehe. If he'd go out and talk to a girl on the street, he'd end
up with one on every finger. Then again, if he was looking for chicks he wouldn't
have come here. All three called each other by their nicknames, that was
really something. And their legs, soooo long! I'm jealous. If I was only a
little bigger. This used to be the normal height long ago, but nowadays
everyone is so tall... Eh? How long is "long ago"? Ehm, well you
see, ehm, ehm... Like, before the war-ish? Ehaha. Of course I'm joking. Oh
well, you know what they say "Women will fall for good looking guys
without money, authority or muscles". Eh, never heard of that? Ah..
eh... Well, I just arm-wrestled one of them by their request. He was so
incredibly weak, just laughable. I admit, it was the one who looked a bit
pale in the face, so maybe he was not feeling well? Then maybe that red
headed guy... Eh? Wait a minute. Haven't I seen him somewhere before? Where
was it? Quite some time ago.... Aaah, can't remember. He didn't seem that
strong either. Hmmm... Eh? I'm good looking too? Oh you, what are you trying
here? I'll fall for you, you know? Are there still shifts to fill? Well,
you're right. I used to be called a pretty boy or something long ago.
Heheh... Had my hair really long and in a ponytail. That was quite a common
style back then. Before the genpuku ceremony, everyone had a forelock they
would bind backwards. Ehm, the genpuku ceremony... was... eh... something we
did in the rural villages as a coming of age ceremony like thing? It was done
way earlier than age 20, though. Oh well, isn't this enough about that? Let's
just keep it at a special look for that age, okay? Anyway, there was a time I was called a
pretty boy. Nowadays being this short and all, people just don't see it, do
they? Ah, right. As thanks for you complimenting me, I'll make sure I'll be
of use to you. You said a while ago that you had a dog, right? I can
understand what animals are saying. Are there any problems with your pet I
can help with? No, I'm serious! Not joking. For real! For the record, I'm not
touched in the head either. Well, I have this special skill, so I thought of
becoming a veterinarian but, you know how there is an exam for that? Yeah,
that's kinda the bottleneck here. I couldn't pass so I had to go as a part timer from job to job and am now a freeter... Ah my parents passed away a
milleniu- decade or so ago, so there is no one who I'm making worry about be.
Savings? I don't have any. Long ago there were oni I hoisted, ehm... extorted
money from? But in hundred ye-- a few decades that money was gone too. Yeah,
I was quite wild and bad back in the days. Oh, not anymore. I'm quite serious about
things now. This work too, it's so fun, the boss is nice, the pay is good
enough and you and everyone else get along so well with me, so I'm enjoying
every day! I'll work! I'm fine with supporting, so give me as many shifts as
you can! |
| [4.48] |
*knock on door - door opening* |
| H |
Ah boss, thanks for your hard
work! |
| [4.52] |
*door closes* |
| H |
Eh? It's busy again? Oh, no
worries, I've had a long enough break. I may look frail, but I have quite
some stamina. In fact, back in my days I fought of a hundred oni-- ehm street
punks. Would you listen to my victory stories? Oh? You've hear them a million
times already? Really? Ah but you, my dear, haven't heard them yet, right,
right? Listen to me, please~ These punks were from the deep rurals and they
were picking weird plants that were growing around the island and made it
into something weird that they called their specialty and then sold it!
That's pretty shady, no? And when they came to the city, they were plundering
and... |
| [5.31] |
*ending of track sounds* |
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